How to use creative activities to cope through life experience
May 1, 2014
Creativity proves to help children cope through life experience as adults
May 2, 2014
'How To Heal A Broken Heart' The Power Of Words
October 14, 2015
Everyone knows of the powerful statement; 'sticks and stones may brake my bones, but words will never harm me'.
The truth is, the words do harm you. You just don't realize how they have broken your heart. How does this work?
As a child you are born into this world as a 'blank' canvas. You don't have anger, fear, thoughts of anxiety or frustration. You learn this from the words you were told as a child. If you hear the same phrase over and over again, it is only natural that you will believe those words. Lets look at common words you can hear from your childhood:
1. You are naughty
2. You are a brat
3. You so full of energy
4. You never listen
5. Don't be stupid
6. You speak too loud
7. You take forever to get dressed
8. Stop worrying
9. You have nothing to stress about, life is perfect for you
10. You are irritating
11. You don't know what you are talking about
12. You are failing at school
13. You not doing well at school
How many times did you have to hear this before you started believing this? As a child you would not hear these words because you naturally push them to the back of your mind. Like slowly chipping away at a piece of wood, the more you keep chipping at the piece of wood, the deeper the hole will go.
Children take everything an adult says literally. They trust their parents judgements because they only know them and have had to rely on them to care for them at their most vulnerable time of need. It is a human trait to be angry, frustrated which we commonly forget as being human. It is only natural to be irritated and shout words out of reaction. With words shouted out of reaction from frustration, with the frustration comes words the adult used to hear themselves as a child.
When you as an adult state certain phrases about your child, you are stating what you heard as a child. Not only are you stating what you heard as a child, but you are also taking out your emotions that have settled into fear or broken your heart passing this onto your child.
So many times I work with parents and I hear phrases like:
1. They never listen
2. They are aggressive
3. No matter what I do, it doesn't work
4. I tell them its unacceptable, but they don't respect me